PUZZLES!
JOKES!
What color socks do bears wear?
(They don't wear socks, they have bear feet!)
What do polar bears eat for lunch?
(Ice berg-ers!)
What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain?
(A drizzly bear!)
What's black and white, black and white, and black and white?
(A panda bear rolling down a hill!)
What is black and white and red all over?
(A panda bear with a sunburn!)
Why do bears have fur coats?
(Because they look silly wearing jackets!)
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
(A bear-faced lyre!)
What do you call bears with no ears?
(B!)
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
(A gummy bear!)
Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch?
(Because he was stuffed!)
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
(A teddy boar!)
What's white, furry, and shaped like a tooth?
(A molar bear!)
How do teddy bears keep their den cool in summer?
(They use bear conditioning!)
What do bears do when it rains?
(They get wet!)
Courtesy of enchantedlearning.com
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
(Because her students were bright!)
Why was the teacher cross-eyed?
(She couldn't control her pupils!)
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
(In the piano!)
What did the tree say to the math teacher?
(Gee, I'm a tree!)
What did the pen say to the pencil?
(What's your point?!)
How do you get straight A's?
(Use a ruler!)
Why did the kid study in the airplane?
(He wanted a higher education!)
What did you learn in school today?
(Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow!)
What's the king of the classroom?
(The ruler!)
What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?
(Bookworms!)
Why did the clock in the cafeteria run slow?
(It always went back four seconds!)
What vegetables do librarians like?
(Quiet peas!)
What subject in school is easy for a witch?
(Spell-ing!)
What did the computer do at lunchtime?
(It had a byte!)
What is snake's favorite subject?
(Hiss-tory!)
What is a pirate's favorite subject?
(Arrrrrrt!)
What do you call a pirate that skips class?
Captain Hooky!)
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
(Because they spend years at C!)
What grades did the pirate get in school?
(High C's!)
What building has the most stories?
(The library!)
What is a math teacher's favorite dessert?
(Pi!)
Why did the cyclops stop teaching?
(Because he only had one pupil!)
What is an owl's favorite subject?
(Owl-gebra!)
Why didn't the zombie go to school?
(He felt rotten!)
Pencils could be made with erasers on both ends, but that would be pointless.
What did the paper say to the pencil?
(Write on!)
How do bees get to school?
(By school buzz!)
What's better than a talking dinosaur? (A spelling bee!)
Which hand is it better to write with?
(Neither, you should use a pen!)
Why didn't the sun go to college?
(Because it already had a million degrees!)
What is the smartest state?
(Alabama, it has four A's and one B!)
Why was the math book sad?
(Because it had too many problems!)
What kind of meals do math teachers eat?
(Square meals!)
Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor?
(The teacher told her not to use tables!)
Pencils could be made with erasers on both ends, but that would be pointless.
What did the paper say to the pencil?
(Write on!)
How do bees get to school?
(By school buzz!)
What's better than a talking dinosaur? (A spelling bee!)
Which hand is it better to write with?
(Neither, you should use a pen!)
Why didn't the sun go to college?
(Because it already had a million degrees!)
What is the smartest state?
(Alabama, it has four A's and one B!)
Why was the math book sad?
(Because it had too many problems!)
What kind of meals do math teachers eat?
(Square meals!)
Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor?
(The teacher told her not to use tables!)
Why did the teacher write on the window?
(To make the lesson very clear!)
What do you get when you throw a million books into the ocean?
(A title wave!)
Why did the girl wear glasses during math class?
(Because it improves di-vison!)
Courtesy of enchantedlearning.com
GAMES!